Things We Will NOT Be Discussing

Hello, good folk of the interwebs. I hope you are all doing most excellent on this day that we call Thursday.

I’ve been wracking my brains for 2 days now trying to come up with an interesting topic for a blog post, but no no avail. I lamented over my lack of inspiration on Twitter where The Tattooed Book Geek suggested I write a post about my lack of inspiration for post.


Now, that’s just complete nonsense. How do you write about lack of inspiration with no inspiration to fuel your lack of? No, no. We won’t be discussing that today. Instead, we will be discussing some topics that I will not be discussing in this post.

My Cat’s Butt – We will not be discussing the fact that Merlin, my sweet kitty baby, has a very strange butt hole. There’s this excess piece of skin attached to his butt that looks string-like. The first time I saw it I was alarmed because it appeared that the cat had attempted to poop out a string and it got stuck there. (No, I don’t go around staring at cat’s anuses regularly. It’s pretty hard not to look at the cat’s butt, however, when he is constantly displaying it in front of my face. Perhaps he is proud of his strange butt and that’s why he chooses to show it to me.) I won’t bring it up though because I realize that your cat’s anus is a very strange topic to discuss on the internet.

Cake – I also probably shouldn’t mention the double chocolate hazelnut cake with Kahlua ganache that I made last night because then you will all be drooling on yourselves and that would be embarrassing for all of us. Seriously, control yourselves, people.

Nude Art Modeling – We will also not be discussing the fact that I was a nude figure model earlier this week. An artist friend of mine had been looking for male and female volunteers to sit for a few sketches for an art project he’s working on. It was actually a real cool experience and not nearly as embarrassing as you’d imagine. (Then again, I do burlesque and wear pasties in front of people periodically, so maybe I’ve just built up an immunity.) No, we won’t be talking about that though because that would be highly indecent of me.


Crazy Ladies + Tiny Rodents  – I also can’t mention the crazy lady I encountered in the lobby of my office building last week. She was screaming her head off and causing a huge scene because a wee tiny mousey snuck into the lobby. I looked at her and said “Stop it, you’re scaring him.” She not only proceeded to act like the poor mouse was going to eat her face, but she also glared at me like she wanted to eat my face. It would be rude to talk about such an amusing encounter, given the mouse in question is currently not available as a witness.

I guess I better put my thinking cap back on…

Adult · Books · Fantasy · Sci-Fi

Book Review: Robots vs. Fairies


My Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

It’s a showdown between nature and science. Who will reign victorious: the robots or the fairies? 

I was SO excited to find this book in Asheville a few weeks ago. While I am a fan of both robots and fairies, I will admit that I’m Team Fairy all the way.

Robots vs. Fairies is a collection of short stories written by various popular fantasy/sci-fi authors. Rather than being stories of actual warfare between the two entities, each author chose a side (Team Fairy or Team Robot) and told their story accordingly. The layout and alternating views made this a fun read. It was easy to get wrapped up in a particular “side” based on the story you were reading, then do a complete 180 by the time you reached the next one.

The fairies were portrayed in all sorts of manners. Some were the fun, whimsical fairies of our childhoods, while others were dark and malicious. The robots gave you a glimpse at both the good and bad of technological advancement. While both sides were painted in an intriguing manner, the fairies were more diverse. The fae, Seelies, banshees, brownies, and pixies were all represented throughout the anthology. The robots were creepy and felt widely similar in nature after a while. (Which I suppose makes sense, as they’re programmed machines with no feelings or real human-like tendencies.)

My favorite story in the book was Sarah Gailey’s haunting “Bread and Milk and Salt.” (Seriously, this one will keep you up at night.) Some other favorites were Seanan McGuire’s “Build Me a Wonderland,” Kat Howard’s “Just Another Love Song,” Jim Hine’s “Second To the Left. And Straight On,” and John Scalzi’s “Three Robots Experience Objects Left Behind From the Era of Humans For the First Time.” The introduction to this book (a greeting letter, written sometime after the robot or fair overlords have already won and have taken over the human world) is unique and captivating. I was hooked immediately.

Definitely check this one out, whether you’re Team Fairy, Team Robot, or new to the world of sci-fi/fantasy.


Are you Team Fairy or Team Robot?

Books · Fantasy · Young Adult

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading?

I finally finished Robots vs. Fairies this weekend. My review will be up soon. (Spoiler alert: It was a really awesome book.)

I’m currently reading To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo. I was super excited to receive this one in the mail last week, especially after hearing a lot of good things about it. Here’s to hoping that it lives up to the hype.



What are you currently reading?


Fabulous, Dahling

It’s a Monday. The day after Daylight Savings. I probably don’t even need to ask, but…


I had a lovely, albeit crazy weekend. The dance show that I was in happened this past Saturday. This was my first time debuting my burlesque persona and my first dance show without the pole.

And it was fab-u-lous.

I had so much fun doing my routine. Considering how nervous I was about all the little details, I’d say I did a pretty good job nailing my facial expressions, eye contact, etc. (As is often the case, once I’m in front of the audience and “in character” I manage to exude confidence and attitude. Now if only I could do that in all other areas of my life. Heh.) My costume, hair, and makeup were spot on and there were no pasties/wardrobe malfunctions. I can’t wait to do another burlesque performance in the future.

Not only was my own routine a great experience, but I had a wonderful time overall getting to perform with so many other talented individuals. I love my dance instructor and my dance family. They’re always so inspiring. ❤

A few hair and makeup shots:


Books · Life

Awesome Blogger Award

I was tagged by The Web Weavers for an Awesome Blogger Award. Spinette and Arachnid’s blog is great and definitely one of the more unique ones that I follow. You’ll find short stories, book reviews, random musings, etc. Go check it out. Right now. It’s fine, I’ll wait….

Questions I Was Asked: 

  1. What’s your favorite book? – Oh geez. We had to start out with the hardest question in the universe? Really? I don’t even know what answer to give here because I have so many favorite books. These are just a few that come to mind:
  2. Would you rather only wear fashion from the ’80s or medieval times? – Medieval. The 80s were a scary time for hair and fashion and I just don’t know if I want to relive the experience. Plus, medieval dresses were so ornate and fancy. princess-in-exile-dress-9
  3. What’s your favorite flavor? – My favorite flavor what? I can’t decide if this is supposed to be food related or something naughty, so I’m just going to pretend that it’s about food so as not to open up that discussionMy favorite flavor for most things is chocoalte and/or peanut butter. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it’s one of those things I need it in my life. Coffee is a close second, especially when it comes to ice cream and dessert. I’m getting hungry now…
  4. Do you think that the plural of moose should be meese? (Goose -> Geese|Moose -> Meese) – No. I think it should  be moosies.
  5. Watching grass grow or watching paint dry? – Paint. There’s too many bugs and allergens outside. watching-paint-dry-level-expert-20443984
  6. Do you like kaleidoscopes? – You know, I’ve never actually had a kaleidoscope before. I feel like I missed out on an important part of childhood. You know, the whole 10 minutes that I probably would’ve spent playing with the thing.
  7. How many constellations can you identify? – If I’m not wearing my glasses the answer is none. If I’m wearing my glasses the answer is still none.
  8. Is there light pollution where you live? – I live in a city, so I’m going to just assume the answer here is yes. (Is that right. Do I get a cookie?)
  9. What kind of bird do you really want to see? – A talking crow.
  10. This question’s a freebie. Do whatever you want. Go crazy. – Kiersten. In the backyard. With an ax.28783728_10105195715586229_1014379416113199729_n

My Questions: 

  1. What’s your favorite food item?
  2. What was the last movie you saw in theaters and did you enjoy it?
  3. How do you like your coffee?
  4. Favorite way to find out about new books? (Book stores, blogs, Goodreads, etc.)
  5. Are there any book genres you used to enjoy, but no longer read?
  6. Favorite non-fiction book?
  7. Cats or dogs?
  8. Who’s the most annoying fictional character of all time?
  9. What do your favorite shoes look like?
  10. What should I eat for dinner?

I Tag:

A Kernel of Nonsense

What’s Inside a Madman’s Hat?


Sorry, I’m Booked

You, with the face


Don’t forget to follow me on social media – Bloglovin Twitter Goodreads


Adult · Books · Fantasy · Young Adult

In Which This Week Never Ends


It’s been a loooooong week. Things at work have been INSANE and there’s been a lot of preparation for the dance show this weekend. I’m really looking forward to Sunday when I can finally relax. There was one exciting thing that happened this week though: NEW BOOKS. 🙂

Look what came in the mail this week!


Did you get any new books this week? What’d you get? 


Don’t forget to follow me on social media – Bloglovin Twitter Goodreads


Burlesque Basics (Lady Doritos-style)

Hello darlings. Several people were really interested in my post last week about burlesque, so today we are going to continue the discussion. I feel like I should be writing this post under the guise of my burlesque persona, but sadly I have to come up with a good burlesque name. (Recently I suggested the name Lady Doritos, but my dance instructor said no. Clearly she doesn’t understand who I am as an artist.)

After focusing mainly on pole dancing for the last 4 years, switching my focus to burlesque (temporarily, due to a shoulder injury) has been a challenge. Not only has it forced me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of how I am used to moving my body, but there are some fundamental differences between the two types of dance that I’ve had to adjust to. Let’s talk about some of the basics, shall we?


  1. Keep Your Legs Closed – Ah, a wonderful life lesson that some of us learn the hard way. I mean, you never want to spread your legs too much in burlesque. You want to remain poised and graceful. It’s better to keep your legs crossed or together at the knee. You want to show off your legs and your feminine figure without giving all the goods away. With pole dancing, however, things are a little raunchier and it’s more like “Here you go, boys (or girls).”burlesque
  2. Facial Expressions – When it comes to pole dancing, it’s more about the tricks you can do and moving your body. With burlesque, a huge part of the act is in your facial expressions and your interaction with the audience. (This has actually been the hardest thing for me to get used to, as I feel silly while making over-exaggerated facial expressions.) You need to entertain the fuck our of your audience. Doing a playful tease? Make flirty faces. Something sensual? Show them what your orgasm face looks like. Look them directly in the eyes while you’re licking your lips until they look like they’re terrified you’re going to eat them. dita-von-teese
  3. The Slow Reveal/Tease – With pole, you pretty much put it all out there at the very beginning. You sex it up with body/hip rolls, speed bumps, floor humps, etc. When doing burlesque you want to draw it out and build up the suspense. Make it take minutes, rather than seconds, to peel off an article of clothing. It’ll keep the audience guessing and drive them crazy.
  4. Layers – The more layers you start out with the better. You’re not doing much of a tease if you just walk out mostly naked. It’s way more fun to find clever and new ways to peel off each layer. Use your teeth, your crotch, your toes, or whatever. Just make it slow and sexy. Part of the tease can also be the fact that you don’t remove all your clothing. You might take off your dress, but keep your garter and stockings on. Or remove your bra, but keep your gloves and hat on.7df331f0ee2051089a418d10487ef6e3
  5. Props – This is another area that I’ve had to learn to appreciate. With pole dancing, it’s pretty much just you and the pole. With burlesque you can incorporate all kinds of fun things into your routine. Just make sure you’re actually using the prop to tell your story. Playing phone sex operator? Use an old rotary-style phone. Jazz singer? Use a microphone. Rich widow? Deck yourself out in faux fur and wear it over your chest while you remove your bra underneath.20525964_10103538737997905_7559691605158009432_n(These are 2 pairs of pasties I’ve worn in previous shows. The top pair has a picture of Chris Cornell on them. The bottom has Scott Weiland. Both were used in tribute pieces I did after the singers passed away.) 
  6. Pasties! – This one is a real challenge if you’re shy or self-conscious, as I was when I first started dance. Pasties are not an absolute essential to burlesque, but they really top things off. The first time I ever wore pasties in front of people I was terrified, but after my big reveal I felt this overwhelming sense of liberation. I love wearing them now. Every time I have to come up with a routine it’s like “Let the girls be freeee!” Why wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity to dress up your nipples in rhinestone?
  7. The Costumes! – This is definitely my favorite part. With pole, you’re somewhat limited in terms of what you can wear because you can’t wear much clothing. (Cloth + metal pole = no friction) With burlesque the sky is the limit. I’m personally a huge fan of the “classic” burlesque styles – vintage gowns, gloves, lace, beads, feathers, etc. I love all the glitz and glam. (Of course, this means you’re often staying up late at night, gluing hundreds of rhinestones all over everything…) If you aren’t into the classic style, you can always do something modern and funky. There’s even nerdlesque now., for those who want a more sexualized version of cosplay. I may or may not have contemplated doing a Harry Potter themed piece a half a dozen times.IMG_0242

I can’t wait for our show this weekend. I’m currently trying to figure out what the hell to do with my makeup and hair. I’ll try to take some pics, if I remember.

Toodles for now, dears. Xo

-Lady Doritos