Hello, good folk of the interwebs. I hope you are all doing most excellent on this day that we call Thursday.
I’ve been wracking my brains for 2 days now trying to come up with an interesting topic for a blog post, but no no avail. I lamented over my lack of inspiration on Twitter where The Tattooed Book Geek suggested I write a post about my lack of inspiration for post.
Now, that’s just complete nonsense. How do you write about lack of inspiration with no inspiration to fuel your lack of? No, no. We won’t be discussing that today. Instead, we will be discussing some topics that I will not be discussing in this post.
My Cat’s Butt – We will not be discussing the fact that Merlin, my sweet kitty baby, has a very strange butt hole. There’s this excess piece of skin attached to his butt that looks string-like. The first time I saw it I was alarmed because it appeared that the cat had attempted to poop out a string and it got stuck there. (No, I don’t go around staring at cat’s anuses regularly. It’s pretty hard not to look at the cat’s butt, however, when he is constantly displaying it in front of my face. Perhaps he is proud of his strange butt and that’s why he chooses to show it to me.) I won’t bring it up though because I realize that your cat’s anus is a very strange topic to discuss on the internet.
Cake – I also probably shouldn’t mention the double chocolate hazelnut cake with Kahlua ganache that I made last night because then you will all be drooling on yourselves and that would be embarrassing for all of us. Seriously, control yourselves, people.
Nude Art Modeling – We will also not be discussing the fact that I was a nude figure model earlier this week. An artist friend of mine had been looking for male and female volunteers to sit for a few sketches for an art project he’s working on. It was actually a real cool experience and not nearly as embarrassing as you’d imagine. (Then again, I do burlesque and wear pasties in front of people periodically, so maybe I’ve just built up an immunity.) No, we won’t be talking about that though because that would be highly indecent of me.
Crazy Ladies + Tiny Rodents – I also can’t mention the crazy lady I encountered in the lobby of my office building last week. She was screaming her head off and causing a huge scene because a wee tiny mousey snuck into the lobby. I looked at her and said “Stop it, you’re scaring him.” She not only proceeded to act like the poor mouse was going to eat her face, but she also glared at me like she wanted to eat my face. It would be rude to talk about such an amusing encounter, given the mouse in question is currently not available as a witness.
I guess I better put my thinking cap back on…