A couple of weeks ago I bit the bullet and purchased Animal Crossing for my Switch so I could see what the big fuss has been about. (Because why wouldn’t I want to watch another human, albeit a pretend one, mull about doing nothing all day and having little social interaction?) Now that I’m a seasoned islander allow me to share some of my thoughts on the game.

• My initial response to the game was “Aw, this is cute. It’s like the Sims, but you have to actually work for stuff and it’s on an island…I bet this will get boring after a few days.”
• After a few days I was pretty excited to see my character’s progress on catching fish and bugs to donate to the alleged museum that was said to be opening. If this had been real life I would have had diabetes already from all the peaches I had to eat. Why didn’t the Nooklings stock food on the island for residents to purchase? My poor character just wants some damned peanut butter.
• Tom Nook is a shady dude. He’s either one of two things: a) A cult leader and I am probably helping him to create a compound for his future followers, or b) Just a useless, money-hungry tycoon. Either way, I don’t like this guy…er, raccoon.
• I am enjoying the daily routine that my character has gotten into and the new goals that pop up every day. It makes me feel somewhat accomplished. Within a week I already paid off my debt, got my own house, and helped start up a museum! I’m doing so much with my free time! (Even though in reality I’m just sitting on my ass at home eating Hippeas and chocolate.)
• I’m crafty AF! Look at all the cool DIY projects I’ve completed and all the cool stuff I built out of sticks and grass. Someone give me my own YouTube channel.
• I have yet to dig up a secret hatch in the ground, inhabited by a slightly off-kilter, socially deprived Australian man. I confess that I am very disappointed by this. (I’m pretty sure he would have peanut butter.)