Life

Great Expectations (Valentine’s Edition)

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The annual day of expectation and disappointment is upon us at last! Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. 😘

Some people love Valentine’s Day and others despise it. This year I’ve been wedged right in the middle. I actually really like Valentine’s Day, or the concept of it, anyway. I know it’s a cheesy and made up holiday designed for making money, but at the same time the sentiment is still nice. Everyone has busy lives and it’s not always easy to take the time to go on dates or do special things for your significant other. Some couples may not care about that stuff, (Obviously everybody and every relationship is different), but that stuff matters to me. I actually appreciate getting flowers in occasion and being taken out on dates. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. The gesture alone makes me really happy. That’s why I like the concept of Valentine’s Day. For me, it’s not about spending a ton of money or buying lavish presents, but it’s the gesture that means something. Going out to dinner or buying a box of those mystery flavored chocolates feels like a nice gesture. It says “hey I still like you enough to participate in this silly tradition.”

Is it wrong of me to want/like that kind of thing? Sometimes I wonder…

This year we won’t be doing the Valentine’s thing. Without getting into the details I’ll say that Boyfriend and I have different priorities as far at this day goes. Some of the disappointment I’ve been feeling is probably my own fault though. You see, because we did all that cutesy stuff last year (our first year together) I came to expect it this year. Therein lies some of the problems we (as a society) run into with Valentine’s Day: the expectations. Between the heavy advertising and the things you see on social media, it’s a holiday that builds up a lot of expectation. Then, when our expectations aren’t met we automatically feel bad about it. We blame ourselves, our relationships, society, etc. We’re bitter and/or feel like nobody cares about us.

What a fun way to spend a holiday focused on celebrating love.

I’m not going to lie, I’m guilty of some of this. Part of me can’t help it. My brain is wired to fixate on the negative. (I’d like to give a shout out to my depression and anxiety here, who have been the most consistent and loyal Valentine’s Day companions for as long as I can remember. Love you guys! <3) Even if I tell myself not to have expectations based on what everyone else is doing for Valentine’s Day, is it totally wrong of me to expect that my significant other will make it a priority because it’s something that’s important to me? I’m having a hard time figuring out the answer.

Some people eschew making Valentine’s Day about couples/relationships at all. I used to think that this was just for people who didn’t want to feel bad about being single, but as I get older I totally get it. We all need to make loving ourselves a priority, regardless of what day of the year it is. Maybe this would be a better way to focus on the holiday, rather than letting myself be disappointed.

Whether you’re celebrating or not today, I want you all to know how much I appreciate you. If I could send each of you heart-shaped boxes of mystery chocolate I totally would.

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What are your feelings on Valentine’s Day? Do you have any particular expectations surrounding the holiday? 

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